How are your kids doing? “They’re great! Jane is in ballet and made the honor role and Jack made the basketball team…blah, blah, blah.” The question was, HOW are your kids doing, not WHAT are they doing. I think this is where it all begins…to fall apart. It’s why parents tell teachers and law enforcement, “My Johnny would never do that!” If someone doesn’t know what’s going on inside their kids’ heads, then they’re basically clueless and will be shocked when they get that call from Johnny asking them to come to bail him out of jail. Activities do not equate self-esteem. Activities (sick and healthy) can cause pleasure which is temporary, but a lot of pain can come from them too which can be permanent. Unhealthy competition is often a big factor here. What those kids are thinking and feeling when they participate in the activities is the real question. What’s unfortunate is that the parents are usually chasing that oasis of the societal ladder and seeking things subject to fire so they’re not much use anyway which is beyond sad. IT DOES NOT WORK. WAKE UP!

Our thinking is what determines our happiness. We can be happier having an IRS audit as opposed to lying on the beach somewhere. “How is she?… Oh, she’s great! She’s in Hawaii.” The reality is “she” is in Hawaii with a husband she doesn’t love, she’s overweight and doesn’t want to go to the beach, and she can’t wait to go home so she can eat what she wants in private. This is hypothetical, but is it really?

If someone is not on a spiritual journey then they are going to act out. Due to genetics and the environment, it will look worse for some and others will be able to hide it better. But it’s the same. Hiding anything is a huge clue there’s an issue(s). An alcoholic will drink. A successful stockbroker will have an affair and/or steal. Everyone has a cross to bear, usually more than one. There’s a reason for this. Few people figure it out. It’s almost always how we begin “our journey”. It’s tragic so few find it. So many people are numb. They’re just like someone critically injured in a car wreck who doesn’t feel anything. Pain is our friend. It’s trying to get our attention. Hello. Most people only think about physical pain. You break your arm–you go to the hospital and get a cast. When something hurts emotionally, you eat, drink, spend, cheat, lie, do drugs, hate, gossip, etc. I could type this list all day and that sickens me.

Back to that Hawaiian vacation. Not only is “she” unhappy, she also took a bunch of people with her–all of her resentments. And, as she unhappily lies on the beach living her lie, she deludes herself thinking how much “happier” she’ll be when she gets back home. Hint–wherever you go, there you are. Most people “get high” before the high. The drug addict gets an endorphin high planning to get the dope. A compulsive overeater gets a high planning a binge with that can(s) of icing. Up, down, up, down. Miserable, but dramatic and so many people are addicted to drama. I have concluded that most people are in some type of active addiction.

The spectrum is broad, but drama and misery to varying degrees are always the baselines.  And we’re so proud to be soooo sophisticated.  We have fancy names of diagnoses, degrees, seminars, books, etc. to spew our knowledge. Knowledge is good, but insight doesn’t treat the problem. Wisdom always trumps knowledge. And wisdom differs from insight because it takes action. What scares me is how in America we’re our own terrorists. There’s no need for ISIS to attack, and we’re so greedy we can’t just not see it, we sell it! Our TV gives us all the drama we want to feed that addiction.

Addictions aren’t spiritual so we’re going to have to act out that drama. We have to go buy something to fix it.  Example: “She” finally got back from Hawaii (without a tan) and she got really high planning her binge. Her husband she doesn’t love will be gone for two days on a business trip and she has planned her binge–ice cream and icing out of the can while watching soap operas and “chick flicks”. She goes to several stores because she doesn’t want the checkout person to see all of the junk she’s buying (this is the same checkout person who isn’t good enough to join her garden club). She gets home, turns on the TV and hits it hard. That icing doesn’t have a chance. She passes out and wakes up with a food hangover. She swears to never do it again. Time causes the hangover to lessen and the pain to fade, so when she looks back she remembers how good the ice cream and icing were, not the misery she felt when she woke up,  so she plans another binge, and another, and another, and another… But, one day she hits a bottom and wants to change so she goes to the store and buys some diet pills, diet shakes, diet magazines, and joins a weight loss club. This works at first and gives her an overdose of false hope (another type of high). She’s psyched. Then the high from getting on that weight loss regime wears off and she plans another binge. It’s so sad and so disgusting our corporations are making billions from selling treatments for symptoms of our problems. So, who really are the terrorists? But,  if she really wants to change a way will be made. That’s spiritual. However, I have never met anyone who didn’t try the symptom products first.  Key point–people will do anything to lose weight except quit eating.

Self-Help (symptom products) start off with the wrong word. Yes, we are supposed to get to know ourselves, love ourselves, and become our own best friend. But in order to do this, we have to get outside of ourselves by helping others. It’s all about balance and it’s obtained partially by good judgment, boundaries, and anonymity. Helping someone and advertising it doesn’t work and it’s distasteful. No, it’s worse, it’s repulsive. Ego is really ugly and the egomaniacs out there can’t see it because of their inferiority complexes. Don’t embarrass yourself…work on your issues.

PLEASURE: drinking at the bar, watching TV, shopping on  TV,  the internet or at the mall, bragging (which is lying) about what you have (usually money because of the sickness of our society), gambling, eating icing out of the can, betting  and winning on the game on the TV you’re watching at the bar while drinking LOL, stealing (kleptomania is common among people who actually have money–they do it for the high), sex, promiscuity, surfing the internet and looking at shoes when we have gazillions of galaxies, animals, and cultures to study, etc. etc.  This list is endless and eventually, people don’t even get the pleasure out of these things anymore. They supersize everything and that stops working too.

And here’s the hard part which is also how they get tricked. The memories of pleasurable events are always better than the actual event. So, we look back and see that is was all good when it really wasn’t. This keeps us running on that hamster wheel, rocking in that rocking chair, and talking all the time without saying anything. Most people spend the majority of their lives “loving” something that isn’t capable of loving them back. So don’t go out and buy that new car with that high car payment. The high will wear off long before it’s paid off.  Obviously pleasurable activities are a big part of life and some are loads of fun and there’s nothing wrong with participating in them. The question is, “What are you thinking and feeling while you’re doing these activities?” My question is, Why don’t people ponder on the reality that we come into the world with nothing and we leave with nothing?

HAPPINESS: love of self, others, animals & creation, meditation (especially with high vibration), having a spiritual life, helping others anonymously, giving, enjoying your kitty, dog, goldfish, pot belly pig,  tarantula, whatever, not thinking about what others are thinking about you, inner peace with the ability to not be ruled by conditions, being able to control your thoughts and emotions and being able to lose whatever we have that is subject to fire. Again, this list goes on and on. Happiness is love and love is ineffable. If something is ineffable, it’s usually spiritual and not subject to fire. It’s sought the least and should be sought the most. The best in life is to be happy while doing something pleasurable. It sounds trite, but unfortunately, it’s more uncommon than not. There is an easy way to determine if something is of pleasure (sick or healthy) or happiness. Happiness can never be used destructively. With pleasure, too much of a good thing often starts off with an activity that should be healthy.

Being able to lose what you have is hard. You have to look at the big picture and remember the brevity of life. When you look back with truth, the “things” that matter are ineffable. If you can take it with you and it’s based on love, then it’s spiritual. Chances are, the things you spend your time on won’t be relevant. Most people will wish they turned off the TV and played with their kids. They don’t even remember what they were watching. I always try to remember that God sees our insides. He doesn’t care what car we drive. Not that being successful is a bad thing, money can do a lot of good. It doesn’t buy happiness, but it certainly does take away a lot of unhappiness. People who don’t have anything to lose have a lot of power (in a sick way). Look at the restitution “required” by the court. This kind of not having anything to lose is not a good thing.  LOL. What works is to create having something to lose…then being able to lose it.

Being able to identify your issues is easy. If you’re hiding something, you know you shouldn’t be doing it so it needs to go.  And remember, we were put here with an assignment. We have to figure it out and work on it.  If you feel like you’re being held back, there’s a reason for it. For me, God backed me in a corner, and for this, I am truly grateful.  Now I ask myself, what would God think of this?  What does He want me to do? If the concept of God bothers you, get over it. There is no way there’s not a God with all of this creation. Are you doubting God or the people who advertise Him in a way that is fake and pious? If you’re attempting to climb that social ladder by wearing the most expensive dress to church, then you’re missing out and what’s important. And how boring. We should have friends from all walks of life. It’s interesting to see what lottery of life they were given. Who cares if they don’t know what fork to use for the salad? It is ridiculous how we judge people and it’s evil. I have a story that saddens me but also gags me. A  girl I knew growing up got everything she wanted. And I mean everything! When she did anything wrong, she always lied and cried and got out of it. She went to one of the most expensive universities in America. She married a greedy guy she met at a fraternity/sorority mixer (there’s a surprise– LOL).  She looked down on almost everyone. Well, God won’t put up with stuff forever so,  long story short, they lost all their money and were beyond bankrupt. They were millions of dollars in debt (how do you even do that?). They lived in a mansion and the last I heard, her father was paying her $5000 electric bill. And here’s the clencher–he was angry because she was “too good ” to work. What? How do you do that?  So, let’s see…she had a free ride for a college education from an unbelievably expensive university where she got a good degree, but she’s too good to use it?  She said it would “look bad” to her “friends.” Really? AND, her father still gives them money. Hello. Am I missing something here? What’s even worse is she’s the victim. It’s all about her.  “Woe is me, I have to wear a $500 dress to church that I’ve worn before”.  My thought…she should worship at the bank because money is her God. Soon I’ll spew under a different topic about the damage these types of churchgoers do. Their absolute refusal to get their hands dirty is going to bite them. It has already bitten and scarred a lot of people who “aren’t good enough” and they didn’t even do anything. I have learned that if I really want to know who someone is, I need to imagine (or better, get to see) them dead broke. There’s the tell-tale. So the poor victim in the mansion really didn’t get away with anything after all. I must be honest…I’m enjoying this 🙂  These are the people I judge. I’m what I call a reverse snob. It’s not good and I’m working on it. My focus to stop judging them is to think about how exhausting it must be to try to “keep up with the Jones” and oh how boring. Nice lie, I mean life to live.  Not.

One of the problems with Americans is we just aren’t tough anymore. It’s because we’re emotionally immature due to seeking worldly things (because of our greed). Our forefathers would be appalled. I’ve had people tell me, “He/she broke up with me so I’m going to kill myself. My life is over. I have no reason to live.” Pathetic. If they choose not to commit suicide,  they seek pleasurable things and celebrate the drama of being distraught. They deserve to indulge in those destructive pleasurable activities after all! More fuel to add to their fire of “justifiable” drama.  After a while, time fades the pain and because they never dealt with their issues, they start dating the exact same person–they just have a different face and name.  And that is the scariest horror movie out there.

Good, pleasurable activities enhance happiness if someone is on the right road. Working out raises endorphin levels and is calming to the spirit. Meditation brings peace and helps with the ability to control one’s thoughts and feelings. Meditation requires hard mental labor and is the most rewarding activity I know of. It also creates discipline which helps people stick with their commitments.  I’ve heard a lot of people say, “I’m going to start ______when______.”  There is no perfect time and to start “now” seems to be what’s preached. My experience has been that when I start something at the worst possible time I’ll stick with it. Go figure. There is one thing I know for sure though–the hard part of our journey is what makes it good and to know that fills me with gratitude.